


Smoke Break

by KirkSatori



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirkSatori/pseuds/KirkSatori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean has trouble sleeping at night. He's not the only one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smoke Break

The worst part about living in barracks is hearing all the other soldiers crying in their sleep.

It’s not always crying either. Night terrors offer a wide selection. The guy at the end of the row twitches like a manic dog. There’re plenty of people who talk in their sleep. Across the way, one guy mumbles “teeth” over and over.

Jean’s the sweating type himself. He might twitch too. He’s not sure. He’s never asked.

Marco would’ve known, but, well…

He jolts himself awake again. He can’t remember the dream this time.

The beds are full of restless sleepers as always. Only the people who have a friend to share a bunk with sleep better. Jean used to be one of them.

The air is too thick.

Jean swears and swings his feet over the side of the bed.

The cool night air is a welcome relief. He breathes deep and feels his racing heart begins to slow. It’s quieter out here.

A spark of light catches his attention and he turns. A few yards off, someone is sitting, having a smoke and watching him. With a start, Jean realizes that he recognizes who it is.

_Corporal Levi…_

The corporal doesn’t say anything to him so Jean doesn’t say anything either, just leans back against the wall and tries to relax.

They see each other again, a few nights later. Jean isn’t that surprised. He just thinks “ _…huh_ ” and goes back to his post-traumatic stress.

The thing is though… it keeps happening. Jean doesn’t go out every night but the times that he does, he’s almost guaranteed to see the corporal out in the same spot, having a smoke. It gets to the point where Jean starts waking up regularly in the middle of the night to go and stand out in the silence with Corporal Levi.

They only speak to each other once. The corporal’s just done something he’s never done before. He’s offered Jean a cigarette. That’s not the speaking part though. He doesn’t say anything, just holds the box out to Jean and when Jean takes one, he strikes a match.

“What were their names?” Jean asks, holding his cigarette to the flame. And then he freezes because the corporal’s just looked at him and the expression on his face makes Jean wonder if he’s made an awful mistake.

The corporal tells him though. Not a lot. Just their names. Not enough to really know anything about them. But that’s okay. Jean’s not looking to get to know this guy.

The funny thing is though, he thinks he does. Just a little bit. He exhales smoke and says “Marco Bodt” and Corporal Levi gives a tiny little nod when he says it and Jean thinks he gets it.

Because, the thing is that there are a lot of people dying and yeah, their deaths hurt like hell. But then there are some people who die and it feels like the whole world has ended. The world that restarts has different rules because those people are gone but at the same time they’re not. Jean’s gonna be carrying Marco with him for the rest of his life. He’s willing to bet Corporal Levi feels the same about Erd and Auruo and Gunther and Petra. Jaegar and Ackerman probably carry their parents. Everyone’s got someone. No wonder the air in the barracks is always so heavy.

He blows a stream of smoke. A few feet away, Corporal Levi has his hands folded across his knees, the cigarette burning down between his fingers. His drags are fewer and farther between than Jean’s. 

Maybe it’s the fact that Jean can put names to more of the ghosts, but out here, behind the barracks with a man he’s never said ten words to, he can breathe easier. The night air is cooling the sweat on his skin.

 

 


End file.
